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Cold light of day
by husbandorcat @ 27 Oct. 2005 - 13:56:52

Woke up this morning with my lovely old Ninja purring on the pillow beside me - what an improvment over Mr Grumpy.
Then the G word kicked in - how can i let him down now, when he obviously really needs me - he is having some kind of crisis, that's clear - surely he needs me to be there for him...
Ran this one past the daughter.
'Mum, he'll just think: 'I treated her like crap and she puts up with it so I can go on treating her like crap'
And:
'how can we help him with his crisis if he refuses to even talk about it?'
Out of the mouths of 16 year olds...
Here's MY half of the attic...

... and my Ninja

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Chris [Visitor]
http://588102
2005-10-27 @ 14:41

if you have reached the point where enough is enough, if this has been on your mind for ten years then perhaps you should stop trying to rationalise taking action but actually do something about it. He obviously won't as you are always there for him so stay strong and lead the way. It does not take two initially to get legal advice. In the long run, would you lose money on the house? You bought it as it is, so will others. 16 year olds are not afraid to cut to the chase and tell it like it is. How would she feel if he left? Perhaps relieved that the atmosphere is better and you became happier?
My apologies at the attempts to make light of the matter but you are very good at talking yourself round in circles, as you say, it's too late for that now.

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husbandorcathusbandorcat [Member]
2005-10-28 @ 13:35

Hi Chris, sorry if I have been sounding a bit tetchy!
yes, I am going to take action, but this week has just been too stressful to get my head round taking it further. But I will, I promise.
On the house, there is absolutely no way we will lose money on it, that was just him being bloody minded. So i will get some of the jobs (actually very minor) sorted but also see what the solicitor advises.
L will be absolutely delighted to get away from him, though he has apparently been very friendly towards her lately - presumably he took to heart what I said about not jeopardising their relationship what ever happens with ours. I am concerned about S though - he has no idea that any of this is happening - as none of us did a month ago.
It has only been on my mind for ten years in the sense that since failing to take action 10 years ago i have convinced myself that I have become reconciled to the status quo.
i don't think i am trying to rationalise, I have just been trying to explain the situation as accurately as possible because I realise how incredible it seems.

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Chris [Visitor]
http://588102
2005-10-28 @ 23:42

Last night NIcky and I were looking through baby photos..taken in Dallas..those were the days my friend (don't try and tell ME we don't talk round in circles)
I don't care what you say to me, I want you to feel free to say anything you need to, I can't do much but I can always listen.

Simon is the lucky one, has has all but left home. Just tell it like it is to him, he may just surprise you.

Off until 6th Nov but hubby is taking lap-top along, of course; so I may just log on.
If I can find a p/c with cats on, will send it to you!

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