If I could get myself back into the state of mind where gardening and listening to the radio and doing cross stitch is all I need to make me happy…, if I could just get my head back into that place.
Suzee has said: ‘… even considering infidelity was a shock for me that made me question and realise … that our roots were not entwined.’ But I have always felt tempted to infidelity. I had a conversation with a Danish friend in Brussels who said: ‘we all feel attracted to other people, we all like to flirt, but I’m never tempted to take it any further because I know the man waiting for me at home is the only one I really want.’ How come I don’t feel that? If I had a realistic chance of an affair, I would grab it, but there just isn’t anybody. I have had 5 one night stands over the years (2 with the same guy a year apart!) I may have had a few near misses, but I’m not really sure – if I had known how to be sure, they might not have been misses! And I have had crushes at various times. But mostly I just don’t have the opportunity – and hard though it is to admit, that’s what keeps me faithful. As Oscar Wilde said: ‘I can resist anything except temptation’.
So which is the more ‘honourable’ course? To say, OK, if that’s how I honestly feel, then this is not a good relationship for either of us and I should just go? Or to say, he wants me to say, I owe him my loyalty, I will make the most of things?
Don’t answer that.
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Infidelity etc
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I so could answer that. But you said not to, so I won't 
 | suzeemoon [Member] http://suzeemoon.friendpages.com/ 2006-04-23 @ 18:31 |
"‘we all feel attracted to other people, we all like to flirt, but I’m never tempted to take it any further because I know the man waiting for me at home is the only one I really want.’" I felt that - which was why being tempted by infidelity was a wake-up call for me to examine my 'roots'
Like subszzz I won't answer - but I will point out there are more than two choices...
 | husbandorcat [Member] 2006-04-26 @ 09:38 |
I don't think I've ever felt so strongly about anybody - except in the really intense initial throes - to have been able to say that I was impervious to temptation. Which might mean that it's not so much a case of never finding 'Mr Right' as an inherent character flaw.
So, not just an unfit mother and a slut, but a tart as well...
I have been puzzling over the 'more than two choices' idea for 48 hours, but now may not be the time to pursue this any further.
| suzeemoon [Member] http://suzeemoon.friendpages.com/ 2006-04-28 @ 23:18 |
I have felt passionately about different partners, but also like to be faithful, I guess.
I see that 'more than two choices' was badly stated - Sorry! I meant not so either/or re stay or go. Possible to renegotiate the rules and boundaries as well. People have companionable marriages, but discreetly have other liaisons, or more obviously open relationships.
I have female friend in open relationship with married man, who stayed married because of children etc. Everyone knows them as a couple, but he does 'family stuff with wife and kids as well.
| husbandorcat [Member] 2006-05-13 @ 14:49 |
I was once told by a counsellor that as long as I stayed in this relationship, I would always be vulnerable to temptation. Which I guess is true, in theory.
However, given that, in practice, I almost never meet any men who are interested in me, or, if I do, I never know what to do about it, I seem to be fairly safe from succumbing to temptation.
Roll on menopause, when hopefully this won't matter quite so much.
| suzeemoon [Member] http://suzeemoon.friendpages.com/ 2006-05-15 @ 23:55 |
Don't you believe it!!! I'm 51 and probably menopausal and not ready for 'pipe and slippers' lifestyle except with alternative use of slippers
| husbandorcat [Member] 2006-05-16 @ 14:19 |
I'm sure you're right. I've been telling myself that for 10 years, and it hasn't happened yet (I'm 52, BTW).
But, given the (un)likelihood that i'm ever going to find another partner, I'm just trying to look on the bright side!
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