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Lady Lucy

by husbandorcat @ 24 Sep. 2007 - 05:58:17

Monday, 24 September 2007

Many of you will remember my dear friend, Christine Andrews, aka Lucy, Countess of Bedford (because of her strong resemblance – IMHO - to that lady’s portrait on the cover of Peter Ackroyd’s ‘Albion’.)
Christine’s three year battle with cancer came to an end yesterday (Sunday, 23rd September) shortly before 4:00AM Californian time. I believe the end was relatively quick as the last email I had from her which she sent herself (dated 16th September) said that that at that point the cancer had not spread to her vital organs, and she was discussing taking part in a clinical trial. Her husband, Peter, emailed me on Wednesday to say she had been taken into hospital. The main problem she had over the last few months was that the cancer was in her lymph nodes, causing pain and swelling across her chest and a build up of fluid which rendered her right arm useless. Typically, she had voice recognition software installed on her computer so that she could continue to send emails, amid frequent acerbic comments about its spelling and interpretation of her English accent.
I first met Chris in January 1986, when we were both English ex-pat wives living in Dallas. I was pregnant with my first child, and her eldest had just had his first birthday. A few weeks later, she told me she suspected she was pregnant again, and her daughter was born exactly three months after my son. I always felt it was a special bond between us. Neither of us was ever very happy in Dallas, and she and Peter returned to the UK late in 1987. When we came home, in spring 1989, she was around to help me adjust to another big change in my life.
I have been trying to work out how much of our 20+ years of friendship was spent in the same country – I think it was about 3 years altogether – first in the States and then here before they were on the move again to Geneva. If it hadn’t been for cyberspace, I don’t suppose our friendship would have lasted the way it did. Chris was a great letter writer, but during those first few years my contributions were largely confined to birthdays and Christmas. However, once we started swapping emails, we stayed in regular contact, even daily at times. We saw each other through some rocky times, always emotionally close though physically distant.
The last time I saw her was on Baltimore railway station in the summer of 2004, when she saw me off to Boston for a conference. I have a photo over my desk taken of the two of us in Anapolis during that trip. We were expecting to meet again in a few days, when I would fly back to Baltimore to catch my flight home. However, in the meantime her Mum passed away in England, and a few hours before I landed she had caught a plane to Manchester for the funeral. She was planning to come over two years ago, and we would have met up then, but the cancer took a turn for the worse and the trip was cancelled. My daughter thinks I should go for the funeral, but when I think about what Chris would have wanted, I can hear her saying: ‘Why the bloody hell didn’t you come and see me while I was still alive?’
Chris didn’t quite make it to the half-century – she would have been 50 on 12th March next year.
Please pass this news on to anybody you think would want to know.


 
 

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KandAmoistKandAmoist [Member]
2007-09-24 @ 07:42

I'm truly sorry to hear of this. All the correspondence I had with her was invariably positive, she seemed to be a lovely lady and I'm sorry that I never had the opportunity to meet her. My sympathy to you. No matter how much we are aware of the inevitability of death, especially when people are terminally ill, it always comes as a shock. (((( ))))

SiennaSienna [Member]
2007-09-24 @ 14:38

How very sad for you.
Going to the funeral may be good though, or you may regret it- after all, it will be full of people who were close to her, and you can remember her together. Don't be alone with your grief.
xxx

suzeemoonsuzeemoon [Member]
http://suzeemoon.friendpages.com/
2007-10-17 @ 23:10

How sad. You seemed to have had a lively friendship.

husbandorcathusbandorcat [Member]
2007-10-18 @ 07:51

And because I hadn't actually seen her for years, it is taking a long time to get used to the idea that she isn't actually still out there on the other side of cyberspace.
I keep thinking of James Taylor's 'Fire and Rain' (which is actually about a suicide) - 'I always thought that I'd see you again'.
And now I've heard from a friend in Australia to say she has been diagnosed and is starting treatment.
another song ('My Man', by the Eagles this time):
'.. She's gone far beyond the pain,
And we who must remain,
Go on living just the same.
... we who must remain,
Go on laughing just the same.'
That's all any of us can do, really, isn't it?

GoingSomewhereGoingSomewhere [Member]
2008-01-02 @ 17:20

I don't know how I missed this - actually you probably posted this on a day I didn't blog. I'm really sorry that Christine lost her fight with cancer, and that you've lost a good friend.

husbandorcathusbandorcat [Member]
2008-01-02 @ 17:59

Hi there,
Thanks for responding.
I originally posted this as a private post in the hope that friends would be alerted by email. But you're a friend, so not sure what happened there.
2007 was certainly a strange and dramatic year in lots of ways, but then maybe they all are. Perhaps 2008 will have more of the good dramas and fewer of the bad ones.
Hope 2008 is good for you.

GoingSomewhereGoingSomewhere [Member]
2008-01-03 @ 21:22

Hi,

I just checked my emails for that day, and guess what? Blog.co.uk have slipped up yet again - no email. I tried to look on LadyLucy's blog a while back too because I wondered how she was, and it was unavailable because it hadn't been verified.

Thank you for the good wishes for 2008. I hope it's good for me too, last year having been quite a struggle.

It's good to see you writing daily again. I'll try and keep up, although I'm not logging on daily myself now.

husbandorcathusbandorcat [Member]
2008-01-04 @ 07:10

Maybe you have a block on getting emails for friends' private posts?
I write daily anyway, it remains to be seen how long i will stick with posting stuff here, before I get irritated with it again :)

GoingSomewhereGoingSomewhere [Member]
2008-01-06 @ 23:13

I think it's very difficult to keep blogging daily, but I wish you luck and hope that you don't get irritated.

husbandorcathusbandorcat [Member]
2008-01-07 @ 07:24

the main problem is the time it takes. If I stop again it will be for that reason, not because I have nothing to say :)
I was awake last night till gone midnight because I had a reply to Ranfuchs' comment running through my head, though - not a good sign.

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