Yesterday I did something I almost never do – I took a nap in the middle of the day. Or rather, I didn’t so much take it as have it thrust upon me. I was working away – it had got to about 1:15, and I was thinking I should really stop and get some lunch – then I thought that what I really needed was sleep and it was impossible to concentrate.
Rather than fall asleep at the desk, which I was on the verge of doing, I decided to lie on the bed, play my ‘insomnia buster’ tape (the one I’m supposed to play in the daytime, which lasts about 20 mins), and see what happened. What happened, of course, was that I was asleep before the 20 mins was up, slept through the rest of the 45 min cassette, which is filled with the ‘bedtime’ track, and didn’t wake until the phone rang about 2:45. Then I got up and had some lunch and a cup of tea.
Later in the afternoon there was a ‘strawberry tea’ for the school governors. A friend I was talking to there remarked that I looked more relaxed than usual. When I said I’d had a nap, she commented, ‘It’s good that you had time for a nap’. Well, no, I didn’t have time for it, it just happened all by itself.
I had to come back from there, and grab my stuff for the Parish Council meeting at 7:30, which finished at 10:45. It wasn’t so bad as sometimes. I didn’t lose it and threaten to resign. I think now the decision has been effectively made for me, it is easier in some ways because I know I just have to get on with it. I’ll make the most of it, for the time being at least.
I guess this is the way my life goes, drifting from one day, month, year to the next, every so often thinking about taking action but mostly going along with events. Perhaps this is the point of the idea of acceptance, taking events as they are instead of resenting them or struggling against them, I don’t know.
So today I need to pack (again), tie up any things which need to be tied up, go to a governors meeting (the other school). People keep saying, ‘Have a nice holiday’, and I know I’ll have a great time, I always do, but it’s not relaxing. I won’t get that sort of holiday this year, and I won’t be going anywhere with Hubby. I don’t mind that. Often when we’ve been on family holidays I’ve been restless and not been able to settle, wanting to do stuff and feeling constrained by having to go along with what he wants or what the children want. I like being on my own, though I won’t be on my own for the next few days, because I will be with my Hungarian friend. She emailed me yesterday and warned me to expect rain.
My flight is at 6:25 tomorrow, so I definitely won’t be blogging in the morning before I go. Exactly 24 hours from now, I should be taking off. Back late Sunday night, so I won’t be blogging until Monday morning. If anyone’s bothered.